125. Pope John XI 931-936

Pope John XI

Pope John XI was the son of Senatrix Marozia,the ruler of the Papal States,and his father also happened to have been Pope Sergius III(904-911). Since the death of Sergius,Marozia patiently waited until their son was old enough to be “elected” to the Papacy. John was supposedly 25 years old when he ascended to the Chair of Peter,but he was mostly just window dressing as Marozia was the one actually running The Church. Things were running fairly smoothly until Marozia married for a third time,and this is where her empire ran off the rails. Her new man,King Hugh of Italy,insulted Duke Alberic II,who was her son from her first marriage. Things escalated until the Duke raised an army to run King Hugh out of Italy. Many of Hugh’s men were killed as the King fled for the hills. No love lost for his mother,Duke Alberic stripped her of all of her titles and forced her into a monastery. Pope John was placed under house arrest and from then on,until his death,he did whatever his half-brother the Duke ordered him to do,which was mostly to trot himself out for ceremonial duties.

124. Pope Stephen VII 928-931

Pope Stephen VII

Pope Stephen VII was another stop-gap elected by Marozia,the ruler of the Papal States. Marozia had previously appointed Leo VI to the Papacy and now she’s chosen another elderly Pope to buy time until her son(by Pope Sergius III!)was old enough to fill the chair of St Peter(scandal!). Although he was not properly elected,Stephen was nonetheless a superstar in his own right,having belonged to one of the oldest,most prominent families in Rome,descended from great soldiers,statesmen and one emperor. Barely anything is known about Stephen other than his strict moral code and his wrath when his priests did not follow it. One Greek writer stated that this Pope was the first to not have a beard. I’ve drawn several beardless Popes already so this is information that could’ve been useful YESTERDAY(to quote Adam Sandler)

123. Pope Leo VI 928

Pope old man

Pope Leo was a filler Pope that was handpicked by Roman noblewoman Marozia. Senatrix Marozia was the ruler of the Papal States,and just so happened to be the mother of an illegitimate child by previous Pope Sergius III. After she had Pope John X imprisoned,she still needed more time for her son to be an appropriate age so that she could then make him Pope. Pope Leo VI was sufficiently elderly enough that she could not count on him sticking very long(which he did not). A mere three years and one more elderly Pope later(Stephen VI),her young son would become The Holy Father. I should put that in quotations…..”The Holy Father”

122. Pope John X 914-928

Pope John X

War Pope! Muslim invaders had overrun Sicily and were now running wild throughout southern Italy. In a sort of crusade prequel,Pope John X personally supervised a coalition of Christian armies from Italy and Constantinople in destroying all of the invaders and securing the Italian countryside. The victorious Pope was riding high and used his new clout to appoint his brother Peter the new Duke of Spoleto and also made gestures towards a pact with the King of Italy. Marozia,leading noblewoman of Rome and basically the ruler of the Papal States,felt threatened over this Pope’s continuing quest for power. She waited until the Pope was without his bodyguards and then marched a military force into the Lateran Palace,taking John and his brother hostage. Marozia had the Pope’s brother murdered in front of him and then exiled John to a monastery while she installed a puppet Pope that could be more easily controlled. Marozia was buying time until her own son,by earlier Pope Sergius III,was old enough to take the chair of Peter,which would happen in 931 with the “election” of John XI. Poor Pope John X was eventually smothered in his sleep with a pillow. 10 Popes to go until I reach the half-way point of my Pope countdown! Two and a half years to go until I reach Pope Francis(I’ll have a paid off Honda when I’m finished!)

119. Pope Sergius III 904-911

Pope Sergius III

Pope Sergius III was technically elected to the Papacy in 898,but the Holy Roman Emperor despised him and drove him into exile in favor of Pope John IX. Once the people involved in his exile were out of the picture,Sergius came roaring back into Rome,assisted by the military might of Duke Alberic of Spoleto. The Papacy was already in turmoil with the imprisonment of current Pope Leo V and with Anti-Pope Christopher running the show. Sergius promptly had them both strangled,just to tie up lose ends and avoid confusion as to who exactly was Pope(what a swell gesture). The government of Rome was now mostly run by the husband and wife team of Theophylact and Theodora. These two pulled the strings of Sergius,mostly by use of their equally scheming daughter,Marozia,who is reported to have given birth to the bastard son of Pope Sergius,(he would later go on to be Pope John XI….Good Lord)
Pope Benedict XVI once remarked that the Catholic Church can’t be anything but Divine,because how else could the Church have survived 2000 years in spite of attacks from the outside,and in spite of terrible behavior of Catholics(like Sergius III)
I based his image on Telly Savalas,because this Pope seems like a character that Savalas would have played in a Biblical movie from the 1960s (Also,Pope Sergius was bald…)